How to Stay True to Yourself Amidst Others Expectations

Aleksandar Tosevski
2 hours ago
3 min read

Have you ever caught yourself speaking, only to realize the person across from you isn’t really listening? Instead, they are busy crafting their own script for what your next move should be. This experience can leave you feeling drained and frustrated. When people offer advice you never asked for, it often triggers a defensive reaction. But stepping back to see the bigger picture can change how you respond and protect your sense of self.

People who always have a ready-made answer for everyone else’s problems often do so to avoid facing their own uncertainties. They use your situation as a shield to hide their indecisiveness. Recognizing this can help you avoid wasting energy trying to convince them or prove your point. Instead, you can listen without adopting their views if they don’t fit your path.

Your freedom lies in choosing which advice to accept and which to set aside. After all, you are the one who will live with the consequences of your decisions.

Barefoot walking path — Finding your own path amidst external expectations

Why People Offer Unsolicited Advice

Understanding why people feel compelled to give advice can help you respond calmly. Often, their intentions come from a place of wanting to help or feeling useful. But sometimes, it’s about their own need for control or certainty in a confusing world.

Need to feel useful: Offering advice can make someone feel important or needed.
Avoiding their own doubts: It’s easier to focus on others’ problems than face personal uncertainty.
Habit or personality: Some people naturally jump to solutions without fully listening.

Knowing this helps you realize that their advice is more about them than you. This awareness can reduce frustration and help you stay centered.

How to Recognize When You’re Being Scripted

It’s not always obvious when someone is trying to take over your story. Here are signs to watch for:

They interrupt or talk over you to share their ideas.
They dismiss your feelings or experiences quickly.
They insist their way is the only right way.
They offer solutions before you finish explaining your situation.

When you notice these behaviors, it’s a cue to pause and protect your boundaries.

Practical Ways to Stay True to Yourself

Staying authentic in the face of others’ expectations takes practice. Here are some strategies to help you maintain your voice and confidence:

1. Listen Without Immediate Reaction

You don’t have to accept or reject advice right away. Listen calmly, then take time to reflect. This prevents knee-jerk defensiveness and gives you space to decide what fits your values.

2. Set Clear Boundaries

Politely but firmly let others know when their advice isn’t welcome. For example:

“Thanks for your input, but I’m still figuring things out.”
“I appreciate your concern, but I want to explore my own options.”

Setting boundaries protects your mental space and signals respect for your autonomy.

3. Trust Your Inner Compass

Remember that you are the expert on your own life. Your feelings, experiences, and intuition are valid guides. When making decisions, ask yourself:

Does this advice align with my values?
Will this choice bring me closer to my goals?
How do I feel about this path?

Trusting yourself builds confidence and reduces reliance on others’ scripts.

4. Practice Saying No

Saying no to unsolicited advice can be challenging but necessary. You can do this kindly without feeling guilty. For example:

“I’m not looking for advice right now, but I appreciate your concern.”
“I prefer to handle this in my own way.”

This helps maintain your independence and keeps conversations respectful.

5. Surround Yourself with Supportive People

Seek out friends or mentors who listen without judgment and respect your choices. Positive support reinforces your sense of self and provides encouragement when you face pressure.

Examples of Staying True in Real Life

Career decisions: When family insists on a certain job path, explain your reasons calmly and share your vision. If they continue pushing, remind yourself that your career is your journey.
Relationships: Friends may advise you to end or stay in a relationship. Listen, but evaluate based on your feelings and experiences, not just their opinions.
Lifestyle choices: Whether it’s diet, hobbies, or living arrangements, others may have strong views. Respectfully acknowledge their perspective but follow what feels right for you.

Why Your Freedom Matters Most

At the end of the day, you live with your choices. Others’ advice can be helpful, but it should never replace your judgment. Holding onto your freedom means: