The Dangers of Nexting: Why Living in the Moment is Key to Happiness

Ever feel like you're in a never-ending marathon, sprinting from one event to the next? Whether it's plotting your next epic vacation, eagerly ticking off the days until that concert you've been waiting for since the dawn of time, or sneakily browsing social media when you're supposed to be enjoying dinner with friends, we've all been there. This little habit, affectionately known as "nexting," often leaves us feeling like a deflated balloon, frustrated and unfulfilled.

What is Nexting?

Nexting describes our automatic tendency to look ahead for what comes next in any given situation. For example, when we read, we anticipate the next word based on the context. This instinct is a powerful cognitive skill. Yet while this ability can be helpful, it can also lead us to fixate on future events at the expense of our current experiences.

When we consider that Americans spend approximately 11 hours a day consuming media, it’s easy to see how nexting can become a habit that distracts us from enjoying life.

The Other Side of Nexting

Consider this scenario: you're deeply engaged in a thrilling TV series, but before the final scene even plays out, your mind wanders to what you’ll binge-watch next. Or you’re enjoying a meal with friends, yet your attention slips away as you check your phone, believing that something more exciting awaits online.

However, when we focus heavily on the future, we often overlook the joys present in our immediate surroundings.

Nexting describes our automatic tendency to look ahead for what comes next in any given situation

The Frustration of Living in the Future

Nexting doesn’t just fill our thoughts with distractions; it can generate a cycle of dissatisfaction. Often, by continuously comparing our current reality to an imagined future, we set ourselves up for disappointment. For instance, we might think, “I will only be happy when I secure that job promotion,” or “I’ll feel fulfilled once I travel to Europe.”

This mindset can blind us to the many blessings in our lives. By overly fixating on future milestones, we lose sight of what we can enjoy and appreciate right now.

The Importance of Mindfulness

To counteract the adverse impacts of nexting, incorporating mindfulness into our daily routines can be transforming. Mindfulness encourages us to fully engage with the present, allowing us to recognize and appreciate the little moments that bring joy.

Here are some practical techniques to cultivate mindfulness:

1. Limit Distractions: When you are with loved ones, consider putting your phone aside. This small change can help you engage more fully and enjoy shared experiences.

   
   

2. Practice Gratitude: Take time each day, perhaps during lunch or before bed, to jot down three things you are grateful for. Consistently acknowledging the positives in your life can shift your focus from what you don’t have to the abundance around you.

   
   

3. Engage Your Senses: Focus on the details of your environment. What colors do you see? Can you hear the sounds of nature or a bustling city? Engaging your senses can root you firmly in the present.

   
   

4. Reflect Regularly: Set aside ten minutes daily to think about your thoughts and feelings. This reflection time can help you process emotions and reduce the urge to always look forward.

   
   

Finding Balance

Planning for the future is a natural part of life, but it's essential to strike a balance between nexting and savoring the moment. While having goals is important, it should not overshadow our ability to enjoy today.

One effective strategy is to schedule specific times for future planning. For instance, allocate Sunday evenings for weekly planning while keeping weekdays open for living in the moment. This balance allows you to still engage in nexting, without letting it control your mind.

Embrace the Present

Nexting, our tendency to overly focus on what is to come, can rob us of happiness and fulfillment. While our brains excel at forecasting, true contentment lies in the here and now. By fostering mindfulness and balancing our visions for the future with appreciation for the present, we can lead richer, more joyful lives.

Next time you catch yourself anticipating the next event, pause and take a deep breath. Remind yourself that life is happening right now, and it is worth experiencing fully.