Trust Yourself Instead of Seeking Approval From Others

When you're at a crossroads and need to make a big decision, what's the first thing many of us do? We form a committee, of course! We consult the parental units, the besties, the work buddies, and even that neighbor who always borrows your lawn mower. At first glance, this might seem like a genius move, but it's actually a recipe for a mental circus. Why? Because these folks are dishing out advice based on their own fears, hang-ups, and secret dreams, not from your one-of-a-kind perspective. Chasing after everyone else's thumbs-up can turn your inner voice into a whisper, leaving you feeling like a lost sock in the laundry of life.

Why Asking Others Can Lead You Astray

When you ask for advice, you might think you are gathering helpful insights. But often, you are actually looking for validation or a way to share responsibility if things go wrong. This means the answers you get reflect the other person’s experiences and biases, not your own values or goals.

For example, imagine you want to change careers but ask a friend who values job security. They might advise you to stay in your current role, even if it doesn’t fulfill you. Or you might ask your parents, who grew up in a different era with different opportunities, and their advice might not fit today’s world or your personal ambitions.

External noise can cloud your judgment, especially when it pulls you into seeking approval from every direction. If you find yourself surrounded by opinions yet none of them truly resonate, it’s not a sign that you lack options, it’s a sign you may be out of alignment with your own values.

The key to making decisions that feel right is to listen to yourself first

How to Tune Into Your Own Voice

The key to making decisions that feel right is to listen to yourself first. Here are some practical steps to help you do that:

• Pause before asking others. Give yourself time to reflect on what you want and why.

• Ask yourself what you would choose if no one else knew. Imagine making the decision in private, without fear of judgment or consequences.

• Write down your thoughts and feelings. Journaling can help clarify your values and priorities.

• Identify your core values. What matters most to you? Freedom, creativity, stability, growth? Use these as a compass.

• Practice making small decisions independently. Build confidence by trusting your judgment in everyday situations.

  
  

By focusing inward, you start to hear your own voice more clearly. This voice is grounded in your true self, not shaped by others’ fears or expectations.

The Danger of Seeking Approval Too Often

Relying too much on others’ opinions can create several problems:

• Loss of confidence. You start doubting your ability to make good decisions.

• Indecisiveness. Constantly asking others can delay action and create confusion.

• Blame shifting. If things go wrong, you might blame others or feel resentful.

• Living someone else’s life. You risk making choices that please others but don’t satisfy you.

  
  

Recognizing these risks helps you understand why trusting yourself is essential for personal growth and happiness.

Building Confidence in Your Decisions

Trust grows with practice. Here are ways to strengthen your decision-making skills:

• Reflect on past decisions. Recall times when you trusted yourself and things worked out.

• Learn from mistakes. Treat errors as lessons, not failures.

• Set clear goals. Knowing what you want makes decisions easier.

• Limit the number of opinions you seek. Choose one or two trusted people who understand you well.

• Celebrate your choices. Acknowledge your courage and progress.

  
  

Over time, you will find it easier to rely on your own judgment and feel more secure in your decisions.