What Do You Really Want and How to Figure It Out

Figuring out what we actually want in life is like trying to untangle a pair of headphones, frustrating and seemingly impossible. Our desires are often wrapped up in society's "must-haves" and our own "I'm-not-good-enough" thoughts. But what if we hit the pause button on life and took a moment to ponder our true cravings? Uncovering what we genuinely want could be the secret recipe for a life that's as satisfying as finding extra fries at the bottom of the bag.

Understanding Desire

Desires are at the core of our experience as humans. They influence our decisions, affect our feelings, and shape our paths. Essentially, our desires are connected to how we want to feel. For instance, if you long for love, safety, acceptance, or respect, understanding these feelings can help you articulate your wants more clearly.

When we know how we want to feel, we can connect those feelings with specific desires. For example, instead of just saying, “I want a new job,” we could express that we desire accomplishment, respect, and stability. This shift transforms our focus from seeking approval to pursuing genuine emotional satisfaction, making our goals more meaningful.

The Importance of Naming Your Wishes

A crucial step in self-discovery is naming your desires in detail. It’s not enough to simply list what you want. For example, saying “I want to feel loved” is powerful, but what does that look like for you? Does it mean spending quality time with friends, building romantic partnerships, or receiving kind words from others?

Focusing on one wish at a time simplifies this process. Instead of getting overwhelmed by multiple desires, concentrate on one. This allows for deeper understanding. Ask yourself questions: Why do I want this? How will achieving it change my life? What feelings am I really chasing?

Reflection and Self-Inquiry

Sometimes clarity about our desires comes naturally, but often we need to explore deeper. Reflection and self-inquiry can be incredibly helpful. Consider keeping a journal or practicing mindfulness. Write down experiences that bring you joy, or reflect on moments when you felt completely alive and in tune with your desires.

Don’t hesitate to shift your perspective. Talk to others, read insightful books, or watch movies that inspire you. External sources can sometimes reveal desires and passions you didn’t recognize before.

Exploring the Emotional Landscape

To define your desires clearly, it’s vital to explore the emotions tied to them. For instance, if you desire a circle of friends, reflect on feelings like joy, security, and warmth. Understanding this emotional context is crucial, as it guides your actions.

If safety is a desire, consider its specifics. Is it financial security? Physical safety? Emotional stability? Once you pinpoint that, explore options to attain those feelings. For example, if financial security is your goal, you might decide to create a monthly budget or consult with a financial advisor.

Our desires are often wrapped up in society's "must-haves" and our own "I'm-not-good-enough" thoughts

Elimination of Obstacles

After identifying what you want, recognize the obstacles before you. Consider both internal and external barriers. Do you frequently engage in negative self-talk? Are toxic relationships holding you back?

Understanding your barriers opens the door to potential solutions. For example, if self-doubt hinders you, practicing self-compassion may be beneficial. Surrounding yourself with supportive friends can also help counteract the effects of toxic relationships, allowing you to pursue your goals more effectively.

Setting Clear Goals

When you clearly identify what you want, it's essential to set actionable goals. Remember that these should be SMART goals, Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound. This framework gives you a clear path forward and helps you stay focused.

For example, if your desire is to feel accepted, you might set a goal like: “I want to join a local community group that shares my interests within the next month.” This gives you a straightforward direction and deadline, making it easier to take steps towards fulfilling your desire.

Seeking Solutions and Inspiration

Once you’ve defined your desires and set goals, it’s time to seek solutions and inspiration that can elevate your life. A wealth of resources is available, including self-help books, online courses, and community workshops that can help guide you.

Also, consider personal stories, podcasts, or workshops as valuable tools for insight. Hearing how others pursued their passions can provide practical ideas for your own journey.

The Power of Positive Affirmations

As you engage in self-discovery, integrating positive affirmations into your routine can be incredibly helpful. These affirmations reinforce your beliefs and desires. For example, if you want to feel valued, try an affirmation like “I deserve love and respect.” This can shift your mindset, boost self-worth, and promote a positive inner dialogue.

Being kind to yourself nurtures a healthy environment for your desires to grow. Regular self-affirmation can create a strong foundation for personal growth and fulfillment.

How to Figure It Out

Identifying what you truly want is a transformative journey. While it takes time and thought, the benefits are profound. The process is about understanding yourself better, which can lead to a more engaged and fulfilling life. By reflecting on your wishes and exploring your emotional landscape, you gain clarity on what truly matters.

Take your time with this journey; don’t rush through it. The first step is simply defining your desires. Your feelings are significant, and they deserve to be expressed. So take a deep breath, dig in, and embrace the clarity of what you truly want.

Let this journey guide you to a life that feels authentic and true to you!